Foreign Wizardry: A (Poorly-Composed) Harry Potter Essay

International Magical Cooperation.


I've been thinking a lot about it lately as I spend what little free time I have whiling away the hours with my nose in Harry Potter. It used to annoy me how there was so little mentioned of foreign witches and wizards in the series, and my annoyance was restored after reading Goblet of Fire again.

Did you know American witches and wizards are mentioned only ONCE in the entire series? To boil down everything America is into a couple of witches at the World Cup, gossiping under a spangled banner is a crime.

And as I sat, obsessing over that tiny window through which the smallest glimpse of foreign wizardry can be seen outside of Europe, I began to construct an alternate HP world in my mind. A more accurate version (in my ever-so-humble opinion, of course).

Picture this though.

You have a dark wizard. Goes by the name of Voldemort. He's your regular, run-of-the-mill, power-hungry lunatic who likes to kill for sport.  Do you think, for one moment, that he isn't going to try to expand his filthy, death-ridden empire? I mean, come on. The man shares his brain with a snake. The day he stops dreaming of world domination is the day I eat my dog.

And I don't have any pets.

It's as likely as this conversation taking place:

Wormtail: "Master, I've been drawing up a few designs. We can take over Spain by the end of the month if we gain control of the water-ways and everyone's minds'. We can be over seas by June if we keep up the pace. We'll need manpower though. Might I suggest recruiting the giants?"

Voldemort: "Quiet, Wormtail! You are too ambitious. I told you from the outset, that if we were going to do this, we were going to do it gradually and cautiously. I don't want to expand further than Great Britain. If I control Britain, that will be enough of me. Don't you know me enough by now to know that I am easily contented with what I have in front of me? I never want more than what I have."


Right. Because that would happen.                  (sarcasm)


My point is, if you were to take the world of Harry Potter and stick it right in the middle of the real world, I believe a few things would be different.

Firstly, we know that Voldemort is quite the world traveler… with his jaunts to Egypt and Albania and whatnot. So why is Britain the only country that seems to be worrying about him? Voldemort is cray, and there is little chance that he wouldn't want to destroy all the other countries in the the world as well, so I think the books should have definitely included more of this aspect. And I think the magical leaders of those countries should have done some allying up. Which brings me to my next point.

Given American's foreign policy, if there was a powerful, muggle-killing, snake-man on the loose in Europe, I hardly doubt Americans wouldn't go try and stop him. I mean just look at our track record… We're basically just a whole bunch of crazy Gryffindors brandishing our swords and yelling out profanities in the name of Justice… Our national Magical Military would be the first on the scene, shouting out the mantra, "You will like democracy!" while forcing Voldemort into a in a red and white striped straightjacket with fireworks shooting out their wands. If Voldemort were real, we would have tried to stop him. I'm not saying we would have been able to for sure, but we would have at least been there in the thick of things.

And speaking of being in the thick of things, why are there only three wizarding schools allowed in the Tri-Wizard cup? Why couldn't it be the Icosa-Wizard cup and allow twenty schools to compete? I know that it was originally created for the three largest European schools, but why the exclusion? Why can't those overseas play? What about Africa? I'm sure they'd love a shot. What's wrong with our Australian friends? Not good enough? Silliness.


You know, I'd be happy with even a minor change in the series. For instance, would it have been so bad to make Luna a foreign-exchange student? How hard would that have been? Then we would at least know what a non-European wizarding school was like. And actually, such a program was even alluded to in GOF when Ron mentions that Bill used to have a pen-friend who lived in Brazil. So it's not far-fetched. Really. It's not.

Anyway.

I just don't think that the borders of Great Britain could contain Voldemort. Not at all. So I wish that JK Rowling would have constructed his story line to include the fact that the whole world was against him (of course, it's implied, but I'm just not seeing the action). And if she left it out by design, why? Because that just seems unrealistic to me.


I'm not complaining, I'm just letting my fingers go. They've been itching to do something besides counting pills and change. And JK Rowling, if you're reading this, I'm so honored to have you in my internet presence, and disregard everything I ever wrote. Love, Lexie.