Things I know must have happened in the world of Harry Potter, though they are never strictly mentioned.

  • Dudley Dursley's wife gave birth to a darling wizard boy 
    • Vernon died shortly thereafter from shock

  • Sirius Black had an affair with Madame Rosmerta while he was at Hogwarts that was quite reminiscent of The Graduate.

  • Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy fell in love despite their valiant efforts to hate each other.
    • Parents not pleased. 
    • Red-haired grandparents parents even less pleased.
    • Blonde-haired grandparents never came to wedding. 

  • Luna's husband died tragically while hunting a crumple-horned snorkack, and she mourned him quietly in a cozy cottage by the sea. It was years later that a lonely wizard moved in beside her. The two rekindled their old friendship and realized that they would be much happier married to each other. 
    • And, yes, it was Dean Thomas.

  • Severus Snape still to this day, curses Harry from his grave. Snape had thought he made it quite clear to Harry while he was living that he despised the scarred, arrogant troublemaker. Apparently not. Harry still had the gull to name his middle child after him. I mean, really.
  • It was Lily Luna Potter, not Albus or James, that inherited her father's superb flying skills. She became Gryffindor seeker, and played just as well (if not better) than him.

  • Cho Chang is a ninny

  • Susan Bones dropped an egg carton at the supermarket, slipped on the slimy yolks, and fell to her death because she's that lame.

  • Gregory Goyle was actually a genius, but just pretended to be half-witted to make his best friend and fellow crony, Vincent Crabbe, feel better about himself.
    • This loyal mark of friendship went unacknowledged by everybody, including the Sorting Hat 
      • Dumbledore had always said they sort too soon…..

  • Peter Pettigrew refused any meal that wasn't mostly made of cheese.

  • Voldemort died a 72-year-old virgin.

  • Hermione told Harry that she stuffed her beaded bag in her sock when the snatchers came and took them to Malfoy Manor. Hermione obviously lied because that isn't possible 
    • (unless she was wearing jeans)
      • (I tried it)

  • There were too many cats (as previously discussed)

  • Cormac McLaggen always wondered who his father was. His mother refused to talk about it, and it was only after years of searching (and some reluctant help from Hermione) that he discovered the truth.
    • But he was probably better off; Gilderoy Lockhart would never have made a good father.

  • Pansy Parkinson had a mad crush on Seamus Finnigan but never told anyone

  • Winky was never quite since her dismissal from Master Crouch, but was able to regain some of her former cheerfulness after being hired by her new master, Percy Weasley
    • This act did not go unnoticed by Hermione who eventually had to accept it because Winky burst into tears every time she mentioned freeing the elf.

  • Ginny and Harry had a dispute over the location of their future home…
    • Harry didn't understand what was so wrong with Grimmauld Place, and Ginny was there rolling her eyes being all like, "Get real Harry".  And he was like, "Think about Kreacher! He loves that place", and Ginny said "Kreacher also likes Death Eaters and Sirirus' mom." An exasperated sigh from Harry followed. "That was in the past Ginny! He's changed since then. He makes like really good soup now." And then Ginny was all, "Fine. You and the seriously distrubed house-elf can live happily-ever-after in that grimy, dark wizard pen. I'm going to go get some fresh air," and promptly flew away on her broom, as Harry seethed from the ground.


  1. HOW CAN YOU MAKE SUSAN BONES DIE? Her and I have so much in common. Such as being soo lame. We can't die. Then I'll have to be friends with Cho.

    And the Cormac and Gilderoy idea is such ingenious that I can't even explain in words. Blown my mind

    1. Izzy, I am going to tell you one last time. And you must listen.


      And also. You would never stoop to being friends with Cho. I know that everyone at Hogwarts would love you and you would have like 27 close friends who all fanned you with palm leaves and fed you grapes.

      And thanks! Hahaha I was just thinking about Cormac (which I do often) and the thought just popped in and stayed.

  2. I actually really hope that Dudley had a wizard child - that would serve them right!

    And as much as Ginny annoys me, I think Harry should let her decide where they live. He did name all their kids after all lol!

    1. I know! He was definitely being unreasonable. Hopefully they'll end up close to the other Weasleys somewhere.

  3. You forgot to mention Dumbledore's brother doing rather inappropriate things to a goat. Which JK almost admitted to. But other than that I can see pretty much all of this happening. I think it's possible to hide something in your sock. It depends on the sock. But I'm pretty sure a bulge in your socks would be noticeable because to avoid it being seriously uncomfortable you would have to have it resting against your legs, not your feet.

    1. Your opinions (or lackethereof) are, yet again, quite as unwanted as ever, Mark. And, no, I did not forget Aberforth's goat charming adventure. I CHOSE not write about that for a variety of reasons

      1. It was in the books. Why restate things that we know happened? In case you didn't notice, these were all things I made up…

      2. It's a vague and disgusting topic.

      3. Go away

  4. I always assumed Harry has or will have other wizard relatives. It would serve Dudley right to pay all those book fees at Hogwarts.


    1. I really really just love the thought of Dudley having to be immersed in the world he tried to avoid so heartily. It makes me smile and laugh and I love it

  5. Hmm I kinda thought some of these too but the Susan Bones one made me laugh so much! I'm pretty sure Marietta Edgecombe is a ninny too :) x

    1. She definitely is!!! I hope her pimples lasted forever

  6. I think everyone's had a crush on Seamus. It's impossible not to.

    I've always wondered what ever happened to good old Cormac. Nice to know he didn't die at least. I do wonder if he ever got married though...

    1. He ended up with Seamus.


    2. Okay I must be that one person who didn't fancy Seamus. What's the appeal?

    3. Don't worry, I didn't either :) x

  7. Harry Potter rocks the World. Speaking of Citty, citty, bang, bang,
    did you know Citty was written and created by the guy who created
    James Bond?