Some people don't get it. You try to spell it out for them, but they insist on playing dumb. Or actually being dumb. It's a little bit infuriating.
But as a human, you will come across people who can't take hints.
I have gotten myself into many an unwanted predicament by passive aggressively allowing people to annoy me.
When someone finds that particular way of getting under my skin, unless they are a family member, I usually don't do anything active about it. I may write a blog post, or complain about to a friend, but I don't ever confront the person. In fact, the closest I usually come to really telling someone what I think about them or the annoyingly horrible thing they've done to me, is backhandedly commenting about the incident five years after it happened.Which they don't really catch on to anyway. I can't really blame them…most people forget about something like that after five years…MOST people.
I've been thinking that I should make more of a stand, and be upfront with people. But then then I realized I can't do that. It's not in my nature to be confrontational. No, it's more in my nature to be sneakily manipulative and slightly evil.
This is not a good thing. And you many not believe it, but it's true.
I mean, I'm not a huge grudge holder, and I can forgive someone pretty easily…but cross me and you will die a slow death because, surprise! I have been poisoning your Cheerios for twelve years.
Wait. I'm kidding. For real guys.
I only poison Wheaties.
So my first reaction is to silently stew. This is bad. This is what makes a person hard to live with. You can't harbor these emotions…you heart will shrink three sizes. No one wants to be an Uncle Scar or a Rasputin. Ugly Stepmothers are generally looked down upon, and everyone hates a Stalin. (I don't have anything against Disney villains or Russians, they just make for good examples).
But I think it's equally bad to openly discuss your heartaches to the people that cause them. Even if you do it nicely, people will resent you, and you will be hated. Forever.
So what's the middle? What is the happy medium between being a Regina George now or a Grinch later?
Hints.
Subtle hints.
Subtly evil. Subtly effective.
A covered-up comment here, a riddle there. Hand gestures, eye rolling, secret messages wrote in lemon juice… Most people won't get them, but when they do, it will probably sting.
I guess the alternative to all of this is to just realize that everyone has struggles, and graciously forgive them for not always being perfect. Because that is how you want people to treat you. After all, you are just as guilty as everyone else.
But when is enlightenment ever fun?
Enlightment is never, ever fun. Just no.
ReplyDeleteYou and I are scarily alike. I remember things people have done that still annoy me when I see them yet they won't remember my name let alone something they did 12 years ago lol! But I remember...
ReplyDeleteI always remember...
It's a curse and a blessing to be this way.
Also, some people can't take hints!
This is perfect. Lately more than ever I have been getting super annoyed with one of my room mates. Shhhh. I leave her subtle hints all the time. I do feel some self-satisfaction when I leave hints.. but it never lasts. Example. She leaves her crap all over our apartment (like walk in the door drop everything in the first clear place on the floor) so when I come in.. I put all of her clutter in one giant pile in the middle of the hallway so she will see I have gathered it all and she will maybe realize how messy she is. I feel better as I sneakily watch through the cracks of my door while she walks toward the pile.. but am always let down when she just steps over the pile and proceeds to her room. Then I claw my eyeballs out. Maybe I will try lemon juice.
ReplyDeleteOr just forgive her for not being perfect, like you said. Because I'm pretty sure I am just as annoying. =)