Why I Hate Twilight: Part II E

Why I Hate Twilight Part II: Relationships are Toxic and Abusive

Section E: The Fatally Contagious Infectious Disease of Imprinting

"It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like... gravity moves.... suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does.... You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend." -- Jacob Black, Eclipse

Oh how deep, Jacob. Really. That's quite profound. Heaven forbid those feelings develop when you actually fall in love with someone through a deep connection formed by spending time with that person and learning about them. Their fears, their desires, their quirks, their attributes. No, that's just silly. Why fall in love the "normal" way when you can have fate take complete control? Who needs free will? Being forced to love someone is so much more romantic.


You thought I forgot about this series, didn't you? Not to worry. I've been planning to write this for a while now. For about 9 months actually. I told you I was a good procrastinator. Yes. So if you haven't already guessed, I'm going to talk about the lovely phenomenon known as imprinting in the Twilight series. Imprinting is defined as "the involuntary mechanism by which Quileute shape-shifters find their soul-mates".

Basically, for those of you who haven't read Twilight, Jacob is part of a Native American tribe whose members turn into werewolves when a threat (vampires) persists nearby. Jacob tells Bella that sometimes, in very rare circumstances, a member of the "pack" will imprint on a member of the opposite sex. This is a process of deep affection and there are many stages to it. When this happens, the shape-shifter will be bound unconditionally to this person for the rest of his/her life. Everything else in life becomes secondary and overshadowed. It's as if the world has shifted and gravity is pulling the shape-shifter towards this person.

Right. So let's break this down.

Stephenie Meyer isn't toying with your emotions. She's not a good enough writer for that. And these are the reasons why.

1) Free will is a concept of the past. A shape-shifter doesn't get to choose anymore. Once they imprint, every decision they make is a reflection upon the force tethering them to their one and only.  The argument here in support of imprinting is that the imprinter would WANT to make those decisions anyway. And even if they had a real choice, the end result would be the same.

But how would they even know?

In my mind, imprinting is comparable to illicit drug use. How do you think clearly when your μ receptors are being delightfully stimulated by opiοids? You don't.


2) "It's one of those bizarre things we have to deal with. It doesn't happen to everyone. In fact it's the rare exception, not the rule..."   Rare huh? Let's look at the statistics. By the end of the saga, there are 17 members of the pack accounted for. So out of those 17 werewolves, we know that at least 5 of them have imprinted. That's almost 30 percent. ONE WHOLE THIRD of the tribe had this incredibly rare and special phenomenon happen to them. Shall we return to math class, Stephenie? Or maybe pull out that thesaurus you love, and look up what rare means. I'll get you started: unlikely, infrequent, deficient, seldom, inconceivable, uncommon, isolated, unheard of….. 


3) Why on earth can a werewolf imprint on a baby? Why is this a thing that happens? Stephenie really tried to explain her way out that one. Because, see at first, the imprinter is like an older sibling. Later on, a best friend. Love blossoms over time…blah blah blah.

No. The imprinter still knows that someday he will want to be in a physical relationship with that baby, which is incredibly creepy. There is so much wrong with that.

Bestiality, necrophilia, pedophilia…sounds like the makings of a bestseller to me. For sure.

I want you to think of your favorite romance. 

It can be a comedy. It can be a drama. It can be a Disney movie.

Do you have it? Good.

Do you want to know why you love it? It's because you love the way the characters fall in love. The story. The journey.

… actually, now that I think about it, Disney isn't the best example if you're thinking of the classic Princess movie.

But nonetheless, even movies that invoke "fate" as a device to tell the story, leave some of it up to witty repartee and cute montages.

But Steph says, To hell with all that. Let's just have the characters fall so deeply in love with each other that the only possible explanation for such affection could be absolute fate. I'll admit, she writes manipulatively enough to convince you that this is something the characters would want, because this "love" is so real that you wouldn't want it any other way.

I call bullshit. 

I want to love someone because I want to love them. I want the fall. Love is a process that can't be calculated or forced upon you by some all-consuming higher power. 

Imprinting isn't a fall. It's a wind-knocking shove in the fatal direction. 

Why I Hate Twilight: Part II D

Why I Hate Twilight Part II: Relationships are Toxic and Abusive

Part D: Edward Physically Abuses Bella

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's that time again. If you remember, last discussed was the various examples of mental abuse throughout the series. But we can't overlook the obvious. 

Bella has taken a beating. Literally.

Now first let's get out of the way the notion some of you may have that Edward doesn't want to hurt Bella, and that he's warned her constantly that he can hurt her with the smallest touch. Guess what? It doesn't work that way.

Imagine an abusive husband being tried in court for domestic violence trying to explain himself, "I mean, I TOLD her that I have strong hands. It's not my fault that I threw her out the window. I didn't want to repeatedly beat her. It's not my fault."

That wouldn't fly. 

And yes. Though it is true that Edward hates himself every time he hurts Bella in any way, it doesn't change the fact that she still has bruises over her body. And it also doesn't matter that Bella doesn't seem to mind. Because, as already discussed, Bella is slightly insane.

So. When does he abuse her?  

On page 89, my friends.

Under the dusting of feathers, large purple bruises were beginning to blossom across the pale skin of my arm. My eyes followed the trail they made up to my shoulder and then down across my ribs. I pulled my hand free to poke at the discoloration of my left forearm, watching it fade where I touched it and then reappear. It throbbed a little. (Breaking Dawn, 89.)

Hmmm yes. I can tell his intentions were honorable as he ravished her in this way.

Also. There's that time when he like rips open her uterus or whatever when she's in labor, and then, like, turns her into a vampire. I think that also counts as abuse. Because even though he was just trying to save her from the demon child, he's the one who put it there.

Perfect.

Anyway. The point you can't overlook is the fact that Stephenie Meyer has gotten away with making this abusive main character desirable because he's proper, depressed and self-deprecating. This is not okay. This is called single-handedly destroying everything the Women's Rights Movement has achieved with a single sparkly fruit of a character. 

Or at least that's what it seems like in my mind.

Why I Hate Twilight: Part II B

Why I Hate Twilight Part II: Relationships are Toxic and Abusive


Section B: Bella Mentally Abuses Edward

Last time we discussed how Edward mentally abuses Bella. But let’s not be so naïve as to think that the abuse is one-sided. Oh no. Bella causes Edward so much pain that he even attempted suicide. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s start from the beginning.

From the first time he saw smelled her he knew he was in trouble. It was like her scent was carefully constructed with the designed purpose to tempt him especially. A test above all tests, if you will. He couldn’t take it. It got to the point where he was in such physical pain, just by sitting beside her, that he had to miss school. Now, we all know that he’s been through high school numerous times, so that’s not a big deal, but what if he hadn’t? She would be responsible for keeping a boy from his studies in a very vital academic year! Stop that snickering from the side! This is a serious matter.

Moving on to the make-out scenes. Despite the fact that Stephenie is an idiot and didn’t take into account that she already informed us all that vampires have no blood flow, it’s clear Edward somehow gets a hard-on for Bella. And we all know that if he did anything about it, he would end up killing her. Now that’s abuse. Poor guy. I think that's a double whammy for physical pain as well.

Anyway. As specified in the last section, all Edward does is worry about Bella. He threatens anyone that comes near her, and he goes out of his way to save her because she is basically a walking noodle and she has no arm strength and can’t really keep herself upright. Yes, it’s degrading to Bella, but in all honestly, he doesn’t really have a choice; either let her go and watch her lead herself to her own death, or stalk her. She causes him so much unwanted stress.

He begins to get this notion that he can’t live without her. Remember when he tried to commit suicide when he thought she was dead? Yes. Now if that doesn’t prove she has some kind of unnatural, sinister hold on his psyche, then you are probably a Twihard Twitard. No offense, but in that case, you need start asking yourself, “Do I really want a dead, sparkly man cutting my brakes, then trying to off himself, and then proposing and then inserting is cold rock penis up my lady parts? Is that REALLY what I want out of life?” If the answer is still “yes,” then I demand you go read a good book now. GO! Go find a book worth your time! Get the Twilight out of your system!!

 ~Lex

XXX

Why I hate Twilight: Part II A

Why I Hate Twilight Part II: Relationships are Toxic and Abusive

Section A: Edward Mentally Abuses Bella

Before I launch myself into an exhaustive rant, I want to take a look at some standard characteristics of people in an abusive relationship. I've highlighted the ones that are particularly similar to how Edward acts toward Bella.

1. Charming.  This person quickly smothers the other with gifts and praise. He/she immediately pushes for an exclusive relationship using phrases such as “I can’t live without you” or “I’ll kill myself if you leave.” A clear indication something is wrong. 2. Jealous. He/she views others as a threat to the relationship and relentlessly accuses you of flirting. “I know you are having an affair.” The irony is that the abuser is usually the cheater. 3. Manipulative.  Abuse and manipulation go hand-in-hand. This person easily detects vulnerability in others and uses it as a weapon to control, belittle and demean the victim. “You are weak and ugly; no wonder you were abused as a kid.” 4. Controlling. Constant checking on the whereabouts of the victim is a common trait for the abuser. “I check the mileage on your car. So don’t lie to me.” A male controller often refuses to let his girlfriend have a job, she might “meet someone. 5. A Victim. An abuser doesn’t take any responsibility for his/ her poor choices. They are never at fault. When she loses her job, or he gets into a fight, someone else is to blame. “You make me hit you” or “I drink because you stress me out.” 6. Narcissistic. The whole world revolves around the abuser and his/her needs. This person is invigorated by the fact that the victims “walks on eggshells” and live in fear of the next outburst 7. Inconsistent. Mood swings are a common trait for an abuser. One minute he/she is happy and sweet, the next they are pounding a fist or throwing a tantrum 8. Critical. Verbally assaulting others is a way of life for the abuser. “You are a stupid, fat, disgusting tramp. You can’t ever leave me; no other man would have you” or “Ha! You call yourself a man. You are nothing but a mama’s boy. 9. Disconnected. Isolation from family and friends is a key goal for the abuser because it forces the victim into total submission. “Your family causes too much trouble for us. I don’t want you seeing them anymore. 10. Hypersensitive. The slightest offense sends the abuser ranting. Everyone is out to “get him/her.”  “My boss had it in for me; I bend over backwards on my job but I still got fired. 11. Vicious and cruel. A significant number of abusers harm children and animals as well as a partner. Intimidation and inflicting pain fuels his/her power. “If I can’t have you, no one will” or “I just pretended to love you so that you would sleep with me.”   After I read that list, I just had to laugh. Did Stephenie do any research before writing her four-book saga? What's that? Oh right. No she didn't. She dreamt it all. At this time I would like to go through the list and explain why each characteristic is relevant to my claim that Edward mentally abuses Bella (and relevant to the reason why Bella is slightly insane). 1. Charming. Oh wow. If I had a posy for every time Edward tells Bella that his life is irrelevant without her, I could stuff at least 9 pockets full. "You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever." Gag me. When he thought she died after she jumped off the cliff, he was determined to get himself killed by the Volturi. What??! If that doesn't prove that Edward thinks he couldn't live without Bella, then nothing ever will. Because Edward is so "charming," Bella basically sees him as perfect. She idolizes him. She is constantly thinking about his perfect bod. He has her so wrapped up in his charm that she neglects to see reason. Never once does she go on and on about his PERSONALITY. I don't think she ever says how she loves him for his MIND. Does she ever question the fact that he's a hundred and some year old BLOOD SUCKING NONHUMAN? Nope. No she doesn't. Because she is completely blinded by his shiny exterior, which I'm not sure, but I think is some kind of mechanism used for hypnotizing. I'm looking into it. There isn't much reliable literature on "hard sparkly skin." 2. Jealous. How many times does Edward growl when Jacob comes near? 'Nuff said. 3. Manipulative. Edward reminds Bella she is weak. Everyday. How many times does he tell her that he could crush her with one blow? Accidentally smother her? Or how about this…lose control and suck all her blood? Yes, yes, he may not be doing this so he can manipulate her, BECAUSE HE "LOOOOOVES" HER. He could just be saying this because it's true and wants to warn her. Right. Okay. I get that. But no one really knows what's going on inside his head, and on paper, it doesn't look so good for him. And furthermore, it's not "cute." I don't think it's cute when a male figure has so much power over a woman, that he as to remind her of it every day. I don't think it's cute that she feels like a delicate little flower in his arms. It's sad. And demeaning. And, in my book, considered mental abuse. 4. Controlling. Possibly the most relevant and troubling of all his characteristics. She's his puppet. He controls every aspect of her life. Even when he wasn't there, he controlled her. She started purposefully putting herself in danger JUST TO HEAR HIM TELL HER NOT TO. But it wasn't him, it was her perception of him deep in her psyche. How messed up is that? She went up to a group of hardened criminal biker thugs because she felt compelled to hear Edward yell at her. She jumped off a cliff! None of this is okay. He watches her sleep! He cut her breaks! CUT. HER. BRAKES. All in the name of her "safety." Tell me this, Edward: How is it safe to purposefully leave your "one true love" in a forest for hours and hours? How is it safe to leave her when a vampire is stalking her? How is it safe to cut her brakes!!??  "It makes me... anxious to be away from you. I wasn't joking when I asked you to try not to fall in the ocean or get run over last Thursday. I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you." "If you let anything happen to yourself - anything at all - I'm holding you personally responsible." "Soon, as soon as I possibly can. I will make you safe first."  "Bella, would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?" "But if you ever bring her back damaged again — and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head — if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?"   In context, these all seem very "aww" worthy. Everyone just loves how overprotective Edward is. But you see these quotes void of all Bella's delusions, and you have what I call cold hard abuse. You call it protective, I call it belittling. The worst thing about his controlling nature, is that Bella doesn't seem to notice or mind. She just thinks it's "annoying". ANNOYING? How about murderously insane?  7. Inconsistant. Bella even mentions his mood swings.  "You know, your mood swings are kinda giving me whiplash." <--Yes from the movie, but it still proves my point. One minute he wants her to leave him alone forever, the next he's telling her he couldn't live without her. One day he tells her how they could never "be" together and then a month later he's ripping off her clothes. He says he never wants to hurt her, and then he just leaves her in the forest. I mean, I would be confused.  In New Moon, Bella is so convinced Edward left because he doesn't love her, that she literally becomes brain dead. The blank pages in the middle of the novel symbolize her insanity. Everyone reading the novel was smart enough to know that he just said he didn't love her because he wanted to "protect her," but she was actually dumb enough to believe it. His inconstancies pop right out of no where. And it's driving her to be a vegetable. 9. Disconnected. How many things does Bella have to keep from her father all because of Edward? Basically her whole life has to be censored for him because she doesn't think he could handle it. Now that Edward and Bella are married, do you really think Charlie is going to be popping in to see them? Probably not. Because he's scared. His daughter is strangely pale and has birthed a fast-growing halfbreed in only a few months. In summary, Edward has caused further estrangement of a father and a daughter whose relationship could have used improvement from the start. The End. As you can see, I take this subject seriously. And you may not understand why because, after all, it's just a book about fictional characters. And that may be so, but I have realized something in my research; the sites where I found all of these quotes, were all created by diehard fans. The comments in the threads all show how much they love this love story. They find the quotes endearing. They want their own Twilight love story. I find this extremely disconcerting. If they can't spot an abusive relationship when it is so plainly spelled out before them within the pages in their own hands, how are they going to realize when it's happening to them? Is it what they're actively searching for in a relationship? I woe the day when someone finds their own Edward Cullen. ~Lex

Why I Hate Twilight Part I D

Why I Hate Twilight Part I: Stephenie Meyer is a Horrible Person and Writer

Section D: The Atrocity She Calls a Plot

So, in essence, what we have here is a strange, loner-type who moves to dull, rainy, small town, Forks, not because she wants to, but because she doesn't. And in the meantime falls in love with a guy who has been dead for a while. I mean, there have been stranger openings to novels. That's not really the disturbing part. It's how fast, and why she falls in love with him. He's overbearing, bossy, arrogant, stubborn, and treats her like a puppy--what's not to love right? He's always laughing at her and talking down to her. I guess some people would say that's cute, but honesty, he just treats her like a child. He puts her to bed, watches her sleep (creepy?), supervises everything she does, and speaks to her authoritatively. He treats her as a tiny delicate flower. Sure, he has reasons to, but it's condescending. I don't know about you, but even if I was the dependent type, I wouldn't fall for a guy who thinks he's my dad. Or watches me sleep. HE WATCHES HER SLEEP.  Basically their relationship is shallow, built up of outwardly attractions, covered up by the "it was love at first sight" excuse.

Moving on to when she discovers he's a vampire. First off, he admits to following her scent. How is that okay with her? Secondly. She is totally unfazed by the whole affair. When Jacob tells her the stories of his ancestors and the "cold ones"....she just listened intently. Totally calm. When Edward confirms her suspicions...not an ounce of fear. She's a freak of nature, and there is no human on this earth who wouldn't be a tad cautious. 

Then there's the matter of how fast they fell in love. Even if there was a real foundation for a relationship there, it was still too fast. By chapter 9 she admits to herself that she's in love with him. Chapter 9! Out of 24! She barely has spent time with the guy, let alone actually know him. It's ridiculous. I'm skeptic by nature, but I still look at things objectively, and their "love", by no means, makes any real sense. In any way.

Let's not forget the unavoidable undertones of necrophilia and bestiality. Edward is dead, guys. And he's not even human. Neither is Jacob for that matter. It's pretty disturbing that the same girl falls in love with two beings who are not completely human. Bella has issues.

But more about this dead Edward thing. Stephenie says that when humans become vampires, their bodies freeze in time. That's why women can't have babies; their bodies can't change. But here's something she definitely didn't explain (mostly because she didn't have an answer); how do male vampires fertilize human eggs? Sperm are not like eggs. A woman is born with all of her eggs; the seminiferous tubules in the testes produce 12 billion sperm per month. So if Edward's body isn't changing, how is that he was able to provide sperm to create a freak baby? I highly doubt the sperm used was the sperm that was there when he died. Come on, after 100 years and you think he still had the semen he died with? Yea right :D

And while we're on the subject. Vampire sex. First let's talk about how Edward is a vestige of a dead human in a body of what Steph compares to granite. He has no blood flow. He's cold and hard. Bella is delicate white flower full of beauty and daintiness. *snickers*.  Please tell me how a protuberance, much like a cold, hard rock shoved up your lady parts would be anything but a traumatizing experience? 

Just saying.

Now let's talk about werewolf lovin'. We learn what "imprinting" is in Eclipse when Jacob is talking to Bella. I'll discuss what a load of bullshit it is in a later section, but for now I want to examine a continuity error. This is the quote by Jacob regarding the rarity of this phenomenon,"It's one of those bizarre things we have to deal with. It doesn't happen to everyone. In fact it's the rare exception, not the rule..." Hmm..."rare exception"? Then how come half the pack did it? Sam, Paul, Quil, Jared, and Jacob all imprinted. Five out seventeen. Twenty-nine percent? How is that rare? Please explain that to me Smeyer. She's definitely not a mathematician. She seriously needs to get her story straight.

Three more points and then, I promise, I'm done. 

The Happily Ever After Ending of Vomit. She spends the majority of the book rallying the troops and preparing the reader for a battle worth the mental suffering he or she endured throughout the entirety of the book. What did we get? We got a conversation. 

And no one died. SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE DIED. Killing characters off isn't always a sign of good writing, but the emotion one feels after reading about it, is. But I felt no emotion but mild annoyance of the fact I wasted my time.


One thing I notice about the novels I like verses the novels I hate (a.k.a. Twilight) is that the books in which I find myself engrossed are more than just a love story. They have substance. Complex plot lines. A greater story that's more than the sum of it's parts. Twilight? Nope. Just superficial love. And a creepy half vampire baby...thing...


Lastly, no one can overlook the prominent comparisons Meyer makes between her poorly written novels, and classic works of literature. Did she compare her writing to the Bible, Wuthering Heights and Romeo and Juliet? Yes. Yes she did. She's a moron. And that's the only thing I love about her.

Whew boy. That was a long one.

Why I hate Twilight: Part I C

Why I hate Twilight Part I: Stephenie Meyer is a Horrible Person and Writer

Section C: Pancho and her Fans

I truly believe that Stephenie Meyer doesn't give a shit when it comes to her fans. Yes, she thanks them in all her interviews, saying how she wouldn't be where she is if it wasn't for them, but does she really mean it? I don't think think so. She's in the biz for herself, and herself only.

She is right about one thing though; without all of the billions of whiny tweens who eat up her every word, she would be absolutely nowhere. This is why I don't understand where she gets off acting so high and mighty all the time. She makes a fool of herself in basically every interview she's ever given. When questioned about the poor reception of Breaking Dawn she said, "But how can you possibly meet up with the expectations that this book had? It just got so built up. There is no book in the world that could stand up to that. So I knew it was going to happen, but at the same time it hurts."

I recall a time when there was a bigger hype for another book that actually exceeded expectations... what was it? Oh yea! HARRY FREAKING POTTER

Suck on that Meyer. There's no excuse, really. Anyone who can write even remotely well could have come up with a better storyline.

In her interview she also said, "If people wanted a really depressing, tragic ending, I gave them a lot of hints that it wasn't going to be that way. They really shouldn't have been surprised!There's no way to make everybody happy. When I do one thing that a lot of people want, there's always the opposite reaction."

It's like a big FU to whoever expected anything at all out of that book.

She never had any real credibility, so no one was expecting a literary masterpiece, but it would have been nice to have a plot. She sold out for her image of a perfect fantasy. It just further proves she wrote it for herself. She doesn't care about what her fans want. I'm not saying you should write for others and not yourself; actually most of the time, you should write for yourself. But in this case, she probably should have tried to please the twitards who are the SOLE reason she is where she is.

When Midnight Sun leaked on the internet, Meyer was extremely upset. And who wouldn't be? I understand her frustration, but just read this, "With writing, the way you feel changes everything. If I tried to write Midnight Sun now, in my current frame of mind, James would probably win and all the Cullens would die, which wouldn't dovetail too well with the original story. In any case, I feel too sad about what has happened to continue working on Midnight Sun, and so it is on hold indefinitely."

She is a child. Seriously. It's the equivalent of a two-year-old's temper tantrum. Suck it up and just give your fans what they deserve. For flying potatoes, it's your job! She already wrote the freaking story once, how could the fact that it got leaked, keep her from writing the same sucky story a second time? I could do it. Anyone could.

I hate her book series, but I probably wouldn't be wasting my time explaining why I hate it so much if she wasn't such a childish and uptight person.

Next on my list is her husband, Pancho. Poor Pancho. Please imagine this:

Your wife confessed to the world that she had a dream about a hot, Victorian vampire, and wrote a complete saga about it. It was obvious to everyone who read the first couple pages that the main character was modeled after herself. You go on and read the books, and find that your wife's character incarnate falls in love with this Vampire and desires to jump his bones. Also, it is noted that said Vampire is basically granite. And abusive in various ways (but that rant is for a later time).

Yes. Your wife would rather have an affair with a stuffy, socially reserved rock than be with you. Talk about a dream nightmare.

Moving on, I just wanted to thank everyone for all their kind and lovely comments on my last post. You are all amazing and thank you all for going on this journey with me :)

Now, I have two papers to write, but I keep getting distracted by stupid things. So I decided to get distracted by my blog, which isn't as stupid. If I'm going to waste my time, I might as well do it on something semi-productive. Because let's face it, when I become famous, this blog will be highly valuable. I can't let down my future fans, so I must blog.

At this exact moment. Ha :D

Yea. There is a kid in this study lounge who is wearing a Pokemon hat. I can't decide if I like him because of it or not...