3.01.2013

Beauty and the Beast Ponderings.

I was in the shower earlier this week (just the one time), and I started to think about the plot of Beauty and the Beast (as you do). And my thoughts quickly formed themselves into one of those annoying, trivial rants that I'm accustomed to having. So I thought I should write about it (because, obviously, this is one hot topic that everyone cares about greatly).




First things first. YES, this is an animated, children's story about a fictional event with creatures of fantasy. HOWEVER, I still noticed some gaping holes in the plot that I want answered. I think Disney owes us that much.



1. Why didn't any of the townspeople know that their kingdom was an actual king-dom?

The castle is hidden away in a place that you only find when you're not looking for it, deep within the forest filled with wolves. Nobody seems know it is there, and if they do, they really don't care that their ruler all of the sudden just stopped existing. As far as I know, the Beast/Prince Adam never did any actual ruling. How is he paying for the upkeep of that mansion, and the salaries of his servants if he isn't collecting taxes? What good is being a Prince when the only ruling you do is ordering around some plates and napkins??
Wouldn't you at least see the top of the spires and be like "Hmmm. That's interesting. We have a castle. I wonder why?"






2. Why didn't the servants' families care that their kin just never came back from work that one day?

Why wouldn't they go seek the reason for their disappearance? Wouldn't you be at all concerned that your wife went to her maid job in the morning and then never came back for 10 years? I mean, the least you could do knock on the castle door. Send a letter? Hire a PI?


That's a lot of families being represented. You would think at least one would be worried 






3. What the heck is this thing?


Magic, outdoor, transporter pot?




4. If they live in France, why do only two characters have French accents? 

To me, that should be an all-or-none sort of thing.

There is a lot of FanFic about these two. I would read it.






5. I'm guessing Belle was at the castle for a total of a few weeks. A month? Two days? I don't know, I haven't seen the movie in a while, but I do know that it was not a very long time. So that brings me to the inexplicable exponential shedding pattern of the Enchanted Rose. Like, what gives? After ten years the rose loses five petals, but after two weeks it looses twenty-five? What was the unseen cause of the hyper-shedding? Was it that love was so close, but so far away at the same time... and the rose got frustrated with the Beast on his lack of action...and started to take it out on him in the only way it knew how? That's ridiculous though, Lexie. Roses don't blackmail. 

Do they? Only Disney can answer this.






I was kidding about the one-shower-per-week bit. Mostly.


4 comments:

  1. Okay, the first paragraph made me laugh outloud.

    I have totally thought of this stuff before too! Although for the servants, I do think maybe back in those times a lot of them lived in the castle. Or maybe I just think that because I'm currently reading Pamela for school.

    Here's another: In "Be Our Guest," Lumiere sings "Ten years we've been rusting." So they've been there for ten years, and if Beast Adam is about to turn 21, he was turned into a beast when he was eleven? But why is he the only one aging? Chip is like six. What gives.

    Now you've got me started. And I also find it funny that nobody seems to care about the castle and missing prince, but when they want to kill Beast they all of a sudden know where it is and get there in about three minutes with their pitchforks. I just don't buy that a prince that young was not only ruling in the first place (WHERE WERE HIS PARENTS) but that nobody even noticed when he turned beast-y.

    And that pot oven walking stove of doom totally freaked me out when I was a kid. Probably because it walked all spidery. Ugh, it's like how in Belle's Enchanted Christmas, it was animated, but that one mean stove guy was a hologram. Nothing adds up!

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  2. You're probably right. They probably did live in the castle. But I'm hoping they at least had a day off every once in a while. So I'm not letting their families off the hook just yet. Ten years!

    Hahahaha the age thing. I didn't think about that one because I always assumed that the curse stopped time for them, including the Beast. Because he looked the same age in the beginning as he did in the very end. But you said he's about to turn 21? Now I'm interested in this discrepancy! Where does it say that!?


    I know! The whole "do they know they have a prince or not"thing makes me so angry! DO THEY KNOW OR NOT? AND IF THEY DO, WHY DONT THEY CARE? It's not like its been 70 years and everyone has long forgotten that the castle had been in use. It was only ten years that the curse has been active. And apparently they never even knew about the curse. I'm forced to conclude that EVERY person in that town is a complete idiot.

    Yes! The fact that Forte was slightly CGI has always bugged me! Like. WHY

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  3. Hmm I think maybe the 21 part was part of the curse at the very beginning, like he had to love before the rose bloomed on his 21st birthday. For some reason I have 21 stuck in my head.

    I was never too concerned about the whole Belle not having a mom thing because pretty much any Disney person has at least one dead parents. It's pretty required.

    Another movie, but unlike Beauty and the Beast this one totally sucks, that is full of plot holes is The Swan Princess. It too has some ridiculous issues.

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  4. i love the random things that pop out in shower time. i feel like i'm a genius in the shower.

    romantically challenged

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